Penis Envy - Why Porn is Wrong part 1

In this blog I want to express some person thoughts I have about erotic literature and depictions of pornography, specifically relating to female sexuality and the involvement of the male as an agent of influence in BDSM fantasies. With special focus on male sexual humiliation.

I will admit that I enjoy porn, I especially enjoy cuckold porn and, as you are aware, write many stories about hot wives cheating on their husbands or boyfriends with well hung lovers. It's a fun fantasy. But my stories are just that, eroticised fantasies... for fun.

But it strikes me that there is more to penis humiliation than meets the eye. On the surface it appears to be about emasculating men and empowering female sexuality. But when you break it down, it's all about the male. It's his fantasy to be humiliated, to have his insecurities exploited. That's the kink. Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) is merely penis envy.

There are also, definitely some homophobic elements to it to. Eroticising the 'shame' of looking at another man's penis. Being 'forced' to watch, fantasise about or worship another man's penis. It's a homoerotic fantasy that is basically saying "I am struggling to come to terms with my latent homosexuality/bi-sexuality and need to be shamed for it." It's a form of self-flagellation, the kind of thing Catholics used to do to punish their selves for having 'impure' thoughts - those 'impure' thoughts, of course, were mostly normal thoughts or desires that had long been stigmatised, especially for females - how dare women have independent thought, or express the true nature of their sexual freedom without male consent!!!

Stigmatising anything is a bad idea. If you stigmatise a person's sexuality that person will feel shame and will feel like they cannot openly express their true self, which is a terrible thing to impose on a fellow human. If you stigmatise a person's weight or food choices because they have excess body fat, it doesn't stop them from being overweight or from eating calorie dense foods, or encourage them to exercise. In fact, research shows that it has the opposite effect. So stigma should be avoided - unless you have a kink for stigma of course.

Let's be honest, most of these stigmatising ideas about sex and sexuality come from out dated religious texts and attitudes created by conservative males. The kind of conservative males who were hypocritically raping choir boys while persecuting women for speaking out of turn, or expressing sexual independence. This is something that we still see today, not only in the more authoritarian Muslim nations like Iran or Afghanistan but also in the USA where female rights (and gay and Trans rights) are being rolled-back and eroded by conservative 'Christian' Republicans.

Anyway, back to penis envy.

The problem with this kind of porn (and yes, the kind of stories I tell) is that it's all about the penis. Despite the so-called beta male being the 'victim' he really isn't because he's ultimately getting what he wants. The woman is merely a tool to helping the male achieve his unorthodox sexual gratification. Much of which stems from his feelings of shame (small penis) or sexual inadequacy (unable to get an erection, or premature ejaculation).

It implies that sex for females is all about the male appendage, that women can't derive pleasure from a small penis, or any other form of sexual intimacy unless she is being fucked deep and hard by an 'alpha' male with a big cock.

It implies that sex for females is all about the male appendage, that women can't derive pleasure from a small penis, or any other form of sexual intimacy unless she is being fucked deep and hard by an 'alpha' male with a big cock.

You see? It's a thinly veiled form of misogyny that furthers the patriarchal indoctrination that masculinity is superior, that 'real' men have big penises and women exist to serve their desires.

Women can have sex with other women and never have penetrative sex and be fully satisfied. Even women who identify as 'straight' often have bisexual fantasies, or have experimented at some point in their life and discovered that the fingers and tongue of a female lover provide more satisfaction than a male penis. Or they use toys, a woman is perfectly capable of pleasing herself with more satisfying results than most men can provide.

I mean, women are just less insecure about their sexuality. Look at team sports. There are more openly gay or queer females in women's sport because it isn't stigmatised the way it is in men's' sport. Are you telling me there is only one gay male in the NFL or the UK Premier League? Bullshit! It's just that men are too insecure and immature to accept that sexuality is more complicated than society has conditioned us to believe, and that homosexuality is in someway deviant, sinful or harmful - more stigma.

It's funny, don't you think? That men who are secure in their masculinity and sexual expression, who exude confidence are less likely to be insecure about another man's sexuality?

Research has shown that people who display higher levels of discrimination against homosexuals, also display the highest levels of sexual stimulation when shown homoerotic imagery. It has also been observed that people who express prejudice against others have a more significant fear of their own mortality, something that is linked to low self-esteem. So, yeah, latent homosexuality and low self-esteem turns some men into bigots

Often, in porn, the penis envy fetish focusses on the black male. A crass racial stereotype that all black males are enormously well hung and therefore more sexually appealing. Often, it is depicted that white women, especially lose all control of themselves in the presence of an 'alpha' black male. The mere thought of his hug penis is enough to have her fall to her knees and surrender herself to his sexual proclivities.

This, of course, stems from slavery. The so-called black 'mandingo' a strong, manual worker who had all the sexual prowess of a primal ape who would be required to satisfy the lady of the manner in the stables. probably while her husband, the lord of the manner, was in the kitchen raping the black maid. The fact that much 'BBC' porn uses very strong racially charged language, with liberal use of the N word and often dehumanizing the black 'BBC' lover to the status of an animal, a mere penis for hire, is evidence of this. racial stigma.

Race play in porn is just racism, the stigmatisation of ethnicity to, once again create a sense of erotic shame in the white male. It plays on his own (either overt or covert) racism, not only is he being degraded but he's being degraded by someone he considers lesser, in this case a lesser ethnic class.

The fact that a 'Hot Wife' who only sleeps with black men is called a 'Queen of Spades' says it all. Maybe she herself is expressing her own suppressed racism and feels the thrill of humiliation from having sex with someone she considers a lesser species. It compolicat6ed and, certainly, males are not the only individuals capable of prejudice.

I don't want to get into a deep discussion about identity politics, except to say that we are all part of the same race. We may look different, sound different and enjoy different cultural experiences, but we are all flesh and bone. Racism, like sexism, homophobia, transphobia and any other form of bigotry are tools used by the financial elite to create division among the majority of us. While we're all busy placing ourselves into ever decreasing sub categories of personal identification, and arguing with each other about our pronouns, the energy CEOs, the bankers, the media moguls and the politicians are ruining our planet for their own financial gain. It's divide and conquer, and we're gullible enough to allow it to happen.

The sooner we all adopt the idea that I am you, you are me, we are one, the sooner we can all come together to create a more caring sharing society.

The sooner we all adopt the idea that I am you, you are me, we are one, the sooner we can all come together to create a more caring sharing society.

Let me wrap up part one by saying this: Erotic fantasies are fine and if you're a male who gets off on the idea of being cuckolded, teased and denied, placed in chastity or being humiliated as a weak, submissive beta male that's fine, go ahead and express yourself and let any superior female enjoy inflicting these fantasies on you. But let's not kid ourselves that this is about empowering women, because it's not.

In part two I will explore some of the underlying socio-political actors at play, that shape mainstream society's perceptions' of independent women.

- Naamah